Anxious Thoughts

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all. Working on a few topics that I've been meaning to cover but I've been busy with my whole move/re-location. Stay tuned... Hope you all have an anxiety/panic free holiday!

Welcome back home! I had a wedding to attend a few weeks ago in Brazil and decided to take some time off for myself to see what another part of the world was like.. Let me first start off by saying that Brazil is an absolutely beautiful place. Despite high crime rates in the larger cities ( such as Rio De Janeiro or Sao Paulo), its simply amazing. The people are extremely friendly and warm which makes you feel right at home even if you don't speak Portuguese (which I don't). The lifestyle compared to here is much different in many aspects. To me Brazilian people are very laid back, friendly, and like to have a good time. They work but they don't stress themselves out about it and the job market is much like ours currently where jobs are hard to find. During my stay there people just had a general sense of "well-being" and take life one day at a time attitude. I felt really comfortable there and could see myself living there with no problems. Another trip is d...

Hello world, I've been doing good with my GAD, I've been meaning to post up and touch on a few different topic that I had floating around in my head however I didn't find the time to do so and now its like I have writers block. Feeling much better that when I had last posted due to me being a little shaken up from an anxiety attack I had. The best way I can describe it is like taking 3 steps forward and when an anxiety attack strikes you take 2 steps back and almost start over again. For me it feels like I'm in a defensive state just waiting for another anxiety attack to happen and just hoping that everything will be Ok. Truth is, you'll never know when its going to come and life goes on regardless. There are time throughout my week where I feel a little blue or feel like an anxiety attack is about to happen but I try to rid myself of those feelings even before they start and I've been doing good so far, and I'm glad for that. Will make an effort to po...

Haven't updated in quite a while huh? Yep, I've been trying to enjoy myself and enjoy life. Taking a break from writing about anxiety or even browsing the anxiety forums help keep my mind off of anxiety completely and focus on everything else in my surroundings. I think by constantly reading other peoples stories, researching GAD, ect ect. help keep it in your sub-conscious mind. Plus for those of us who are hypochondriacs it gives our anxiety some ammo for when it decides to pop up and wreak havoc. I've learned to accept my anxiety for what it is. My definition of anxiety is Fearful thoughts that lead to other negative emotions such as panic/worry and depression (both symptoms from which I've suffered with due to anxiety). In the beginning I used to get frustrated wondering when this is going to stop and when I would go back to my normal self. I now understand that this is who I am and this has happened for a reason. A reason which I am still searching...

Things have been getting better for the most part. Something that has been haunting me since this all started is "when is it going to end" and since my last blog post I've found that answer. Anxiety will be with me for the rest of my life and I am OK with that. How i deal with my anxiety ultimately will affect the outcome of the situation. There are good days and there are some days where I will have an anxious feeling from time to time. If I let that anxious feeling take control then things can take a turn for the worst and I can have a full-blown anxiety attack, which we all know is no fun . Instead I try to re-adjust or refocus my thoughts on other things to pre-occupy my mind. Saying that now is much easier than saying it before because it was hard to learn how to control my thoughts when anxiety rears its ugly head. Keeping the blog short today, I've got a headache from going into the city this morning. As always I will keep my progress logged on my blog. ...

Decided to write something about an experience I had this past Saturday. I had a pretty easy Friday at work, it was pretty quite. Friday night I spent at home relaxing, went out to grab some food with a few buddies around 10PM and came back home to hit the bed. Woke up around 9:30AM (Overslept a bit) and did my normal morning routine. Had to visit a client and install some software at around 11:30 so I prepped for that and left my house. Got to the clients location everything went smooth, finished up there around 12:15P and left as I had another job lined up and their location was closing at 1. I must have drove about 5 miles or so and came to a stoplight with light traffic and the light was red. As I'm listening to music and enjoying the scenery all of a sudden I start feeling "weird" and think to myself "this doesn't feel normal" but I realized what was going on. There it was anxiety popping its ugly head up again and I start thinking about what just h...

So I've finally began exercising, Its not much but its a start! We've got an exercise bike in our small home-gym area that my parents use mostly. So during my downtime or even if i'm feeling anxious I go sit on the bike and ride for exactly 15 minutes while reading a book/magazine. Today was my third day and I'm already challenging myself. Normally i ride at a steady pace and 15 minutes is enough for me to ride about 4.5 miles, the last 4 minutes I increase the resistance and the last minute i lower the resistance back down and just give it my all. The last two days I've been trying to beat my 4.5 time and today I finally did it, I came close to riding 5.5 Miles in 15 minutes and let me tell you that got my heart pumping, but in a good way! I felt great afterward and usually give myself a 3-5 minute warm-down. I read somewhere that some people feel anxious when they start to exercise since it gets their heart beating faster but that's normal. After i had my fi...

Came across these 7 Steps a few times today and decided that I'm going to post it. sixpack(moderator on anxietyzone) is the author  1. Therapy ---meds if you and your doctor feel it is appropriate---everybody is different on this issue.  Realize, too, that meds are not a CURE.  They are a help so some of the other tools can get a foothold. 2. self-help books --lots of good stuff out there these days ---Claire Weekes has good books out there that explain how it all works-- Hope and Help for Your Nerves   I read The Roadless Traveled by M. Scott Peck many years ago.  He speaks to people in a variety of ways.  He has a few other books too.  3.  Exercise ---even if you don't want to.  At first you are likely to feel miserable and panicky feelings are likely to bubble up OR rush at you.  It is BEASTY (your anxious overthinking) causing this.  But do it anyway. 4.  Eat a healthy diet .  This helps on all kinds ...

Not sure what was on my mind today but I had another small anxiety episode. Woke up this morning fine and took care of some errands. I returned home later in the afternoon and ate. As i hopped in front of the TV to watch a movie i felt a little "off" and well the rest was history. Thoughts obviously started to race through my mind and I felt anxious, why? I'm not sure. I felt as if I had to get up and go do something or go somewhere. But did i follow through with that thought? NOPE, I remained as calm as possible despite my mind racing and my stomach feeling like someone just punched me. I relaxed myself as best as possible and tried to take control of the situation. Eventually I ended up spending some time chatting with my Grandmother who has always been there for me regardless. And let me just say what a relief it is to talk about your anxiety , it was like instant relaxation. In the past I've talked about it and felt better but today It was great, I've been t...

Where have I Been? Here and there, my mind was in a fog/haze last week because I just had these weird/toxic thoughts running through my mind. But I've realized that they're just thoughts. Towards the end of last week I was swamped at working and ended up working late Friday and early Saturday morning. Sunday was a pretty relaxed day, spent most of my day at home bumming around the house (what I do best on Sunday, my day of rest). Monday I was off to an early start at work and spent the rest of the day in the office and ended up staying an extra hour to finish some stuff. Its been cold! Especially in my house, I don't know why but I guess winter is coming. I hate the cold in my house, it makes me want to stay covered up under a blanket. Today seems a little better, the sun is actually up and Its not raining. That's that, lets get to what I really wanted to post. Finding Yourself in Life Growing up I had all these hopes and dreams of many different things that I w...

Trying to keep up with this busy week, I've got a lot on my plate that needs to get sorted out. Had a stressful day yesterday but today was more positive (despite my headache from having a late lunch). Anxiety has been better, no real bad attacks thank goodness. I still let my mind wander  but I've been working on controlling that. Going to do more research on the subject this weekend. Will give a more thorough update this weekend as well. Goodnight.

I was browsing through Anxiety Zone the other day and came across this the other day and had to post/save it. Its a really good read. All Credit goes to Brosephski, the link to his original post can be found below the posting. You can be in deepest, darkest pit right now. You can be 99% convinced of the most bizarre, unsettling thought. I've had them all. 'I'm going crazy!', 'I'm going to lose control!', etc. (Truthfully, I'm convinced I've had the most surreal of these 'what-if' thoughts, and I'll spare you the proof!) Whatever. Right now... what are you afraid of? Say it, say it out loud. Bring it to the fore-front of your mind. There is something troubling you. Just say it out loud no matter how stupid. Lesson #1: there is no correlation between how convinced you are of something and how close to reality it actually is. Please reread that. Again. I could be completely so completely convinced that that cute girl in my l...

So My Saturday night was pretty boring. I didn't mind staying home but now I've got to deal with this anxiety/loneliness feeling. I was sitting in my bed, just finished watching Prince Of Persia (good movie btw) and all of a sudden I get this feeling of Loneliness and my mind starts racing with thoughts of me being lonely for the rest of my life. I get scared/nervous, best way to describe the feeling is to imagine having butterflies in your stomach but your mind racing at the same time. It wasn't quite a full anxiety attack as it rushed past me but it still lingers. This has happened before and something I read said just take life one day at a time and not think of the future. Usually that is how I like to think of things, but I feel it has to do with that I have a lot of things on my plate, plus today was generally pretty boring. I did nothing all day except when i went out to the golfing range for an hour. I will be moving out of state at the end of the year, which coul...

Woke up this morning feeling a little anxious for no reason. Woke up around 1AM to use the bathroom and felt this way but I quickly went back to sleep. So i got up this morning, drank some tea (Chamomile) to help me relax and started browsing the web to help take my mind off things. Work so far is pretty slow which is good but I wouldn't mind it getting a little busy, that helps me focus on work more and less anxiety. Got some light music going in the background and I'm going to start reading shortly. Figure I'd write about it, So long.

As I try to figure out what to write, I'm trying to remember what I did this past Friday night since I last posted on my blog. I cannot remember, does anxiety make you forgetful? Sometimes I feel a little clumsy/forgetful. Anyway Saturday I spent hanging out with an old friend. We had a pretty good time catching up and remembering old memories, headed home to get some much needed sleep. Sunday stayed home mostly all day, bumming around the house. Went to a friends house to catch the Colts vs Giants game........wow, the giants were bad. I left at half-time because I couldn't take it anymore and I'm not even a big giants fan!! Monday I was supposed to work but my boss told me not to come in since It was already late and I was stuck at home waiting for the rental car company to pick me up, so I enjoyed a day off and got a chance to start on a new book. Currently I'm reading a book called "Rework" by a company called 37Signals, pretty good book so far. The book ...

Got through the rest of my week pretty good, despite being semi swamped at work these last two days. So I'm sitting here on a Friday night kinda wondering if I should go out or stay in and watch a movie. My nose is stuffy and in the back of my mind I'm like great I feel like I'm getting sick so naturally i start thinking about being sick. Of course this brings on some thought of anxiety but a buddy of mine called and asked to hang out so I said sure, might as well get out the house for a little bit, clear my head. I've been noticing as things get better with my anxiety, from time to time I will take a step back and say wait everything is going smooth.... are things supposed to be so smooth? Its like I'm sometimes on alert just waiting for the next anxiety attack to happen and I think that can bring on actual anxiety. I let these thoughts jumble up in my head for no apparent reason... Not going to get into detail on this tonight as I'm heading out for a littl...

Sorry for the lack of updates the past few days, I've been swamped. Sunday I went to a charity even in NY and had an amazing time despite the rain and getting lost. Came home later than I expected and spent the rest of the night watching TV until i fell asleep. Monday I went to work but only spent half day there because I had a doctors appointment at 1, which was great! Monday's at the office is extremely slow and boring. Got to my doctors appointment to hook up a heart monitor which i have to wear for a month because of my extra heart beats. The doctor thinks its fine but we just want to make sure that its not a problem. Luckily this is a smaller unit with only two contact points as compared to the first unit i got for 24 hours which was larger and had 8 or so contact points on my body. I have another appointment this Saturday with another doctor who's an endocrinologist. I've been going to the doctors for regular checkups just to rule out everything else to make sur...

Today was a pretty relaxing saturday . I did have plans to wake up and go walking/running however I came in pretty late this morning and slept in till about 9AM. Woke up in a good mood and had some errands to take care of. Got back in around Lunch time and a Friend and I decided to go play a few rounds of golf. Spent about an hour out there before it just got too damn hot but i had a pretty good workout. I'm sure I'll feel it in the morning even though I stretched prior to going out. Got back home took care of a few errands and ended up taking a much needed nap. I've got a charity even to attend early tomorrow morning so I went out and cleaned the car to prep her for tomorrow. I've been feeling better but i'm always trying to keep myself busy. S ometimes I feel scared about getting another anxiety attack so I keep my mind going and focusing on more important things. I picked up new book and magazine earlier today so tonight I might stay in and read for a while or ...

This is my story: The reason behind my blog is to begin to journal my struggles with anxiety and depression.  I've always enjoyed writing and figured that i can start to share my experiences with others and vice-versa. There are tons and tons of material to read and learn about anxiety but hearing it from someone else can sometimes make it just that much better.... to realize that you are not alone. Where do i start? I'll give you a little background on myself. I'm a young adult, as my parents like to call it, 21 year old male living on the East Coast. People would easily describe me as funny, charming, charismatic, helpful, caring, kind hearted, good-willed, easy going, laid back, calm, and easy to get along with. I was always the class clown and enjoyed making people laugh and generally have a good time regardless of the situation. All throughout high school I generally had a good time and lived my life to the fullest. I did smoke a little pot...actually quite a bit...