So My Saturday night was pretty boring. I didn't mind staying home but now I've got to deal with this anxiety/loneliness feeling. I was sitting in my bed, just finished watching Prince Of Persia (good movie btw) and all of a sudden I get this feeling of Loneliness and my mind starts racing with thoughts of me being lonely for the rest of my life. I get scared/nervous, best way to describe the feeling is to imagine having butterflies in your stomach but your mind racing at the same time. It wasn't quite a full anxiety attack as it rushed past me but it still lingers.
This has happened before and something I read said just take life one day at a time and not think of the future. Usually that is how I like to think of things, but I feel it has to do with that I have a lot of things on my plate, plus today was generally pretty boring. I did nothing all day except when i went out to the golfing range for an hour. I will be moving out of state at the end of the year, which could play a big roll as I am both excited/nervous at the same time. Moving can be tough...leaving everything you know and everyone you know behind.
Thinking back on my earlier years I was always someone that kept to myself. I grew up with my sister and cousins constantly around but even when they weren't I was completely at happy playing with my toys by myself, and often spent time doing so. That was a phase I carried with me for quite some time, As I got older I always had friends, I'm the type of person that gets along with everyone and I like to be liked. When i went to high school I spent much of my weekends going out and looking for girls or just generally hanging out with my buddies, some of whom I still hang out with still. But up until a few months ago I don't know what changed in me but I lost all my motivation to go out. I guess I just felt my friends did the same shit and I really wasn't going in the same direction as they were, most of my friends still like to party, drink, get wasted, not that I'm against it but I just don't see that as having a good time.
So what did I do? I stayed home most weekends, spent more time with my parents, who didn't mind. But ever so often I get bored of staying at home. Recently my grandmother told me to go out and have fun, don't stay in the house all the time. She told me that going out will help me develop into a more independent person, seeing as that she thinks I am still pretty attached to my parents. I understand exactly where she is coming from because I do hold onto my home/family quite a bit. Its something I've been working on, it just seems rough at times. I've been making it a weekly habit that my buddies and I go out, even if we just hang for at least an hour or so, its better than staying home. I just need to start finding more weekend activities to do, regardless if its during the day or at night.
Needed to get that out, feeling better. Going to try and read for a bit to fall asleep. Goodnight
This has happened before and something I read said just take life one day at a time and not think of the future. Usually that is how I like to think of things, but I feel it has to do with that I have a lot of things on my plate, plus today was generally pretty boring. I did nothing all day except when i went out to the golfing range for an hour. I will be moving out of state at the end of the year, which could play a big roll as I am both excited/nervous at the same time. Moving can be tough...leaving everything you know and everyone you know behind.
Thinking back on my earlier years I was always someone that kept to myself. I grew up with my sister and cousins constantly around but even when they weren't I was completely at happy playing with my toys by myself, and often spent time doing so. That was a phase I carried with me for quite some time, As I got older I always had friends, I'm the type of person that gets along with everyone and I like to be liked. When i went to high school I spent much of my weekends going out and looking for girls or just generally hanging out with my buddies, some of whom I still hang out with still. But up until a few months ago I don't know what changed in me but I lost all my motivation to go out. I guess I just felt my friends did the same shit and I really wasn't going in the same direction as they were, most of my friends still like to party, drink, get wasted, not that I'm against it but I just don't see that as having a good time.
So what did I do? I stayed home most weekends, spent more time with my parents, who didn't mind. But ever so often I get bored of staying at home. Recently my grandmother told me to go out and have fun, don't stay in the house all the time. She told me that going out will help me develop into a more independent person, seeing as that she thinks I am still pretty attached to my parents. I understand exactly where she is coming from because I do hold onto my home/family quite a bit. Its something I've been working on, it just seems rough at times. I've been making it a weekly habit that my buddies and I go out, even if we just hang for at least an hour or so, its better than staying home. I just need to start finding more weekend activities to do, regardless if its during the day or at night.
Needed to get that out, feeling better. Going to try and read for a bit to fall asleep. Goodnight
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