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M.I.A

Where have I Been? Here and there, my mind was in a fog/haze last week because I just had these weird/toxic thoughts running through my mind. But I've realized that they're just thoughts. Towards the end of last week I was swamped at working and ended up working late Friday and early Saturday morning. Sunday was a pretty relaxed day, spent most of my day at home bumming around the house (what I do best on Sunday, my day of rest). Monday I was off to an early start at work and spent the rest of the day in the office and ended up staying an extra hour to finish some stuff.

Its been cold! Especially in my house, I don't know why but I guess winter is coming. I hate the cold in my house, it makes me want to stay covered up under a blanket. Today seems a little better, the sun is actually up and Its not raining.

That's that, lets get to what I really wanted to post.

Finding Yourself in Life

Growing up I had all these hopes and dreams of many different things that I wanted to do when I was older and for the most part I was content about these things. I strayed off my path a little bit during my first few years of High School but got my act together towards the end. I finished high school and decided to enter into technical school before going to college, this way I can get trained in what I wanted to do and hopefully find a job to give me some experience. Things actually did work out that way...Once i finished technical school I found a job 4 months or so later and I'm still there today. I enjoy my job, I really do and noticed in a meeting the other day that I'm part of the small team that we have at work. Its like a puzzle...each piece has its purpose and without all the pieces the puzzle isn't quite complete. Of course it has its bad days, but what job doesn't?

Since I started having bad anxiety I was initially knocked off my feet again and needed to find myself because I felt lost and hopeless. I began reading about life, god, and general well-being which really help re-focus my perspective in life. But still something is off, I feel as if I have a greater calling to do something and I have not found it yet. I want to get into something that I truly enjoy doing and that I am passionate about.Again I love my job i really do but I'm not passionate about it and I'm not excited about the direction its headed in, even though the company is doing really well. At the end of the day I can't see myself doing this for the rest of my life..

Its not about the money, I don't need to be rich.. I want to be financially comfortable and able to take care of my own. I could have all the money in the world and still be in the same place that I am today, it wouldn't change a thing for me besides material objects. Its about finding something that I love to do and profiting from it is just the icing on the cake. I read in another blog where someone said between 22-30 was the hardest years of his life because he was looking for "that thing". I'm sure people go through the same thing and spend years looking for it. Try and try again..

For me my greatest strength can also be my greatest weakness. I am well rounded meaning that I am good at many things, not great at one thing. There's so much that I like to do but finding that one thing is going to be difficult.

I'm determined to find my niche. I believe everything happens for a reason, no matter how bad the circumstances were that you had to endure. I'm still here today and there's a reason for that.

My birthday is this weekend also, I'll be 22 (Just in time to kick things off)

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