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Still Here, Still Going, Still anxious

Haven't updated in quite a while huh? Yep, I've been trying to enjoy myself and enjoy life. Taking a break from writing about anxiety or even browsing the anxiety forums help keep my mind off of anxiety completely and focus on everything else in my surroundings. I think by constantly reading other peoples stories, researching GAD, ect ect. help keep it in your sub-conscious mind. Plus for those of us who are hypochondriacs it gives our anxiety some ammo for when it decides to pop up and wreak havoc.

I've learned to accept my anxiety for what it is. My definition of anxiety is Fearful thoughts that lead to other negative emotions such as panic/worry and depression (both symptoms from which I've suffered with due to anxiety). In the beginning I used to get frustrated wondering when this is going to stop and when I would go back to my normal self. I now understand that this is who I am and this has happened for a reason. A reason which I am still searching for but everything that I've done in my life has led me to where I am today, and there is nothing I can do to change that fact. I've read about accepting anxiety and I do fully feel like I have accepted it, even when times get rough and things get a little sketchy.


Had a conversation with my mom this past weekend, not sure how anxiety came up but it did and she told me that it be with you for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not. Back in those days my mom did not have the internet to research the problem like I did or had people just like her with the same symptoms. She was ALONE left to deal with it. She tried many different medications but she hates to take medication and told me that it can be addicting once you get started. She eventually got off all medications and learned to cope with it by herself using self help books and other natural methods. 20+ Years later she is still here and doing well in her life and still shows her anxiety who is boss. Hats off to you mom....


Like it or not, this is what is is. How you deal will affect you. I can give you an example from Today. I decided to go grab a bite with a co-worker at a local pizzeria. We got in placed our orders and sat down when all of a sudden I feel like the room goes quiet and everything starts moving in slow motion like I'm in the matrix. I almost instantly start going into panic mode but in the back of my mind I know this is anxiety and I need to relax myself before I have a full blown anxiety/panic attack. I remain seated and continue chatting with my co-worker and drinking my snapple. Eventually I calmed myself down and ate my sandwich and now I'm back at the office.

A little shaken up still, but nothing I've never felt before. I sometimes still just wonder why it pops up randomly for no apparent reason, guess that will continue to baffle me.

Accept it, its real.

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