Anxious Thoughts

Trying to keep up with this busy week, I've got a lot on my plate that needs to get sorted out. Had a stressful day yesterday but today was more positive (despite my headache from having a late lunch). Anxiety has been better, no real bad attacks thank goodness. I still let my mind wander  but I've been working on controlling that. Going to do more research on the subject this weekend. Will give a more thorough update this weekend as well. Goodnight.

I was browsing through Anxiety Zone the other day and came across this the other day and had to post/save it. Its a really good read. All Credit goes to Brosephski, the link to his original post can be found below the posting. You can be in deepest, darkest pit right now. You can be 99% convinced of the most bizarre, unsettling thought. I've had them all. 'I'm going crazy!', 'I'm going to lose control!', etc. (Truthfully, I'm convinced I've had the most surreal of these 'what-if' thoughts, and I'll spare you the proof!) Whatever. Right now... what are you afraid of? Say it, say it out loud. Bring it to the fore-front of your mind. There is something troubling you. Just say it out loud no matter how stupid. Lesson #1: there is no correlation between how convinced you are of something and how close to reality it actually is. Please reread that. Again. I could be completely so completely convinced that that cute girl in my l...

So My Saturday night was pretty boring. I didn't mind staying home but now I've got to deal with this anxiety/loneliness feeling. I was sitting in my bed, just finished watching Prince Of Persia (good movie btw) and all of a sudden I get this feeling of Loneliness and my mind starts racing with thoughts of me being lonely for the rest of my life. I get scared/nervous, best way to describe the feeling is to imagine having butterflies in your stomach but your mind racing at the same time. It wasn't quite a full anxiety attack as it rushed past me but it still lingers. This has happened before and something I read said just take life one day at a time and not think of the future. Usually that is how I like to think of things, but I feel it has to do with that I have a lot of things on my plate, plus today was generally pretty boring. I did nothing all day except when i went out to the golfing range for an hour. I will be moving out of state at the end of the year, which coul...

Woke up this morning feeling a little anxious for no reason. Woke up around 1AM to use the bathroom and felt this way but I quickly went back to sleep. So i got up this morning, drank some tea (Chamomile) to help me relax and started browsing the web to help take my mind off things. Work so far is pretty slow which is good but I wouldn't mind it getting a little busy, that helps me focus on work more and less anxiety. Got some light music going in the background and I'm going to start reading shortly. Figure I'd write about it, So long.

As I try to figure out what to write, I'm trying to remember what I did this past Friday night since I last posted on my blog. I cannot remember, does anxiety make you forgetful? Sometimes I feel a little clumsy/forgetful. Anyway Saturday I spent hanging out with an old friend. We had a pretty good time catching up and remembering old memories, headed home to get some much needed sleep. Sunday stayed home mostly all day, bumming around the house. Went to a friends house to catch the Colts vs Giants game........wow, the giants were bad. I left at half-time because I couldn't take it anymore and I'm not even a big giants fan!! Monday I was supposed to work but my boss told me not to come in since It was already late and I was stuck at home waiting for the rental car company to pick me up, so I enjoyed a day off and got a chance to start on a new book. Currently I'm reading a book called "Rework" by a company called 37Signals, pretty good book so far. The book ...

Got through the rest of my week pretty good, despite being semi swamped at work these last two days. So I'm sitting here on a Friday night kinda wondering if I should go out or stay in and watch a movie. My nose is stuffy and in the back of my mind I'm like great I feel like I'm getting sick so naturally i start thinking about being sick. Of course this brings on some thought of anxiety but a buddy of mine called and asked to hang out so I said sure, might as well get out the house for a little bit, clear my head. I've been noticing as things get better with my anxiety, from time to time I will take a step back and say wait everything is going smooth.... are things supposed to be so smooth? Its like I'm sometimes on alert just waiting for the next anxiety attack to happen and I think that can bring on actual anxiety. I let these thoughts jumble up in my head for no apparent reason... Not going to get into detail on this tonight as I'm heading out for a littl...

Sorry for the lack of updates the past few days, I've been swamped. Sunday I went to a charity even in NY and had an amazing time despite the rain and getting lost. Came home later than I expected and spent the rest of the night watching TV until i fell asleep. Monday I went to work but only spent half day there because I had a doctors appointment at 1, which was great! Monday's at the office is extremely slow and boring. Got to my doctors appointment to hook up a heart monitor which i have to wear for a month because of my extra heart beats. The doctor thinks its fine but we just want to make sure that its not a problem. Luckily this is a smaller unit with only two contact points as compared to the first unit i got for 24 hours which was larger and had 8 or so contact points on my body. I have another appointment this Saturday with another doctor who's an endocrinologist. I've been going to the doctors for regular checkups just to rule out everything else to make sur...

Today was a pretty relaxing saturday . I did have plans to wake up and go walking/running however I came in pretty late this morning and slept in till about 9AM. Woke up in a good mood and had some errands to take care of. Got back in around Lunch time and a Friend and I decided to go play a few rounds of golf. Spent about an hour out there before it just got too damn hot but i had a pretty good workout. I'm sure I'll feel it in the morning even though I stretched prior to going out. Got back home took care of a few errands and ended up taking a much needed nap. I've got a charity even to attend early tomorrow morning so I went out and cleaned the car to prep her for tomorrow. I've been feeling better but i'm always trying to keep myself busy. S ometimes I feel scared about getting another anxiety attack so I keep my mind going and focusing on more important things. I picked up new book and magazine earlier today so tonight I might stay in and read for a while or ...

This is my story: The reason behind my blog is to begin to journal my struggles with anxiety and depression.  I've always enjoyed writing and figured that i can start to share my experiences with others and vice-versa. There are tons and tons of material to read and learn about anxiety but hearing it from someone else can sometimes make it just that much better.... to realize that you are not alone. Where do i start? I'll give you a little background on myself. I'm a young adult, as my parents like to call it, 21 year old male living on the East Coast. People would easily describe me as funny, charming, charismatic, helpful, caring, kind hearted, good-willed, easy going, laid back, calm, and easy to get along with. I was always the class clown and enjoyed making people laugh and generally have a good time regardless of the situation. All throughout high school I generally had a good time and lived my life to the fullest. I did smoke a little pot...actually quite a bit...