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Here we go once again!

Hello all,

I'm back and yes its been quite some time. I do apologize for the lack of updates! My last update I had just began a new job and came back from an amazing trip to Northern California. Since then I've been exploring the beautiful South West and having a great time doing so! My friends out here are pretty cool and we all enjoy the same sort of things. Not sure If I mentioned this but I picked up some after work activities, whether is just going for a walk/bike ride, working on my car, swimming, or simply hanging out with my friends. I find when I keep myself busy I think less about anxiety and more about living my life. I haven't had a really bad attack in quite a while (trying to stay strong), and I am glad.

This morning was a little tough. I'm taking a small 4 day vacation to Southern California to enjoy the whether and attend a local car show (my car is still not fixed, more on that another time) with my friends. I've been excited for this all week but this morning when I woke up i just felt a bit "off" so I jumped in the shower and all these thoughts started rushing through my mind. Of course I've felt this before but its been quite a while and haven't felt like that in some time so it almost felt foreign. I quickly jump out the shower and collect myself all while going about my morning normally. I get in the car with my step dad because I needed a ride to work today and here we go.

I got lectured about life and all sorts of other things. I know he meant no harm and just wants whats best for me, which I always appreciate greater than he will ever realize. But boy did that sink in on top of my anxiety for my trip. I got to work and just felt out of it, I was working fine but had a lot on my mind which just felt like it was weighing me down. My mom came to visit me a little before lunch so I decided to take a quick break and speak to her. I'm glad i did because she gave me some much needed advice, nothing I wanted hear but what i needed to hear. That picked my spirits up quite a bit and I do have the butterflies for my trip but I'm not going to let this stress and negativity control my life.

I have much to learn about life, I am still quite young and inexperienced. I need to learn to balance my time and priorites, I need to learn how to be more responsible, I need to learn how to be independent, I need to learn how to let things go.

I'm kinda glad I had an anxiety attack this morning, It sucked but it helps me put things into perspective, it's easy to fall off track.

PS. My friend whom I mentioned in my earlier post is doing much better, she did have a relapse but she's working on getting better. Currently she's relaxing on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean. Good for her!

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