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Woah, where have I been!

its been quite a while, has it not? lots of stories to tell but let's recap a bit.

I last left off where I had recently moved to a new state and honestly felt quite a bit lonely although I had my family around me, having friends and going out once in a while is good for you (I feel so anyway). So since my last posts I've been able to control a good majority of the anxiety/panic attacks and avoid them as best as possible. My real challenge has been with all these WEIRD thoughts that comes with the anxiety. These thoughts make you doubt yourself, worry about life, make you feel like your losing hope, and many more. I think of myself as an over-thinker because I always OVER think a situation and fill my head with negative thoughts for no reason at all because almost all of the time the outcome is fine. Of course there will be stressful times in your life but we have to learn how to combat stress in a positive way. Stress may feel worse with anxiety (for me it gets pretty bad) and may or may not trigger anxiety attacks and or negative thoughts.

I try to keep myself busy. I've met some people since I've been here and we share many common interests so we often hang out from time to time. Thus far it as been a blast and a group of us recently went up to San Francisco for the weekend. Quite an amazing trip despite my car breaking down about 200 miles into the journey (stressful event) and having to get it towed back home. I felt stressed out when this was all happening but calmed myself down eventually as things weren't that bad (nobody was hurt). I opted to continue on with my journey even though we were behind schedule and I am glad I did. This was my first time in SF and let me say that if you've never been to the north west, its absolutely beautiful! I can easily see myself living there, although it gets a bit cold but I can live with that. Got a chance to explore the city of SF as well as see the Golden Gate Bridge, simply amazing. Had a few anxious moments but I powered on and dismissed them.

Before this trip I finally landed some work, its a 6 month contract but its work. It will keep me busy for the time and help me pay off some bills, which is always a good thing. On another note, do you know the saying when it rains, it pours? Well that's true. While my car was broken down and I was stuck in a really small town, I get a call from my employer stating that I was having some issues with my SS and I would not be able to return to work. So here I am stuck in a small town, no car and now I can't go back to work?! Talk about stress, at that point I was just stressed/anxious and about ready to give up and head back home for the weekend. I didn't though and come to find out it was an error on my employers part and I was cleared for work when I returned on monday. My car on the other hand...well I'm working on that.

So what's going on from here? I still need to find time and complete that workbook I have because I'd like to overcome this negative self talk and gain my confidence back! I want to calm my overactive mind and simply go with the flow instead of worrying about the outcome or expecting the worse.

As always I will keep updating here on my findings.

PS. Spoke to an old friend who has depression an anxiety. This was news to me since I never knew about it, so we got a chance to catch up and she was telling me that therapy is really good and if she had gone to therapy a while ago she wouldn't need the meds. I agree with her to a certain extent. In my own opinion I feel that therapy is an excellent tool for those who need someone to talk to and need help controlling the anxiety. At this point I want to utilize my own tools and use methods from online sources and workbooks to help control my anxiety. In the meanwhile I can save up for therapy if that fails because therapy can get expensive. Of course if at any point I feel I need therapy I will reach out to someone, but right now I am content.

My mom did it without therapy and I believe I can also! Leading a stress free life is what I am aiming for.

Till next time,
Cheers!

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